28 Crusader Kings III Memes for Anyone Whose Court Jester Has Better Job Security Than They Do

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Sep 7, 2026 9:00 AM EDT

Putting so many hours into a game like Crusader Kings should count as a job.

I have to admit, I haven't played Crusader Kings 3 in over a year now, but it's still the game with the most hours counted on my Steam account. Almost 700. And yes, I know this might be next to nothing for veteran gamers of this title, or even its insanely popular predecessor. And yet, these hours I've put into CK3 amount to almost a month of my life. An equivalent to a whole month of non-stop gaming. That's a real-life achievement unlocked. But I digress, because I'm here to talk about the real fun of the game: it's absolute chaos.

Usually, when you imagine a grand strategy game, you have a complex web of rules only an Excel nerd could find likable, and an amount of UI buttons that would put to shame the inside of the TARDIS. But then comes Crusader Kings 3 and just exists comfortably as the class clown and most popular kid amongst a class full of the most nerdy and angry peers imaginable. Even its cousin, Europa Universalis, looks at CK3 with jealousy - it just could never pull off being this absolutely cool and unhinged.

And honestly, after looking for this bunch of memes to bring here, and finding the like-minded people who will find them funny and enraging just the same, it made me want to start another playthrough. Maybe an absolutely ugly count with a heart of gold who just wants to pave his way through honest diplomacy? Or a raging Viking who swears vengeance against anyone without a cool enough beard? Including his own sons when they turn 18, definitely.

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  • 01

    Nobody expects the Holy Roman Empire

    "Me playing as the king of France and expanding in peace" THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE: CRUSADER KINGS III ee
    via CRUSADER KINGS III
  • 02

    Such a benevolent ruler

    Basically you playing Crusader Kings 3 SOME OF YOU MAY DI , BUT THAT IS A SACRIFICE I AM WILLING TO MAKE memeOr
    via memegenerator
  • 03

    Enough CK3ing for today...

    Your Sister Pure-blooded Inbred Ugly B Я в Queen of the Byzantine Empire
    via @warbanddun
  • 04

    Basically an alternative history game, right?

    *GOES BACK IN TIME AND MOVES 1 ROCK* RESULTS: Orthodox Welsh Paused 18 8 433736 +382.3 46967 $25.9 * 16061 114.3 20420 33 20.4 C LATIN EMPIRE
    via @paradox_interactive
  • 05

    And a third one...?

    Restore the Roman Empire R WE'VE HAD ONE, YES AN f the old empire could be red srition in the aves of the W BUT WHAT ABOUT SECOND ROMAN EMPIRE?
    via @Crusaderkings
  • 06

    Tyrant mode: Activated

    ABSOLUTE 0200-00 Crown Authority CROWN AUTHORITY U/THECHAOTICLAW
    via U/THECHAOTICLAW
  • 07

    Boys will be boys

    1st born 2nd born I'm inheriting an And you're only empire and several kingdoms giving me a duchy? 3rd born 8th born I'm only getting two counties You guys are getting land? U/LOWBORN_LORD
    via U/LOWBORN_LORD
  • 08

    It resonates with me in so many levels

    PARADOX GAME FANS BE LIKE CIF YOOOOO THIS GAMEPLAY IS FIRE THE CAMORLD
    via @suomi.i
  • 09

    He deserves everything handded to him

    Made the Guy who took near 30 minutes to order 8 sandwiches from a Subway right in front of me, making me late to a meeting today i4x Find Spouse Liege -28 Count Subway B This is you rd of Eat Fresh-alot, 35 S 71 Catholic von 8 Sandwiches
    via @cummancer
  • 10

    SO CLOSE

    Robartach mac Condál Briain, O Your Courtier Balanced O E We were on the verge of greatness, we were this close.
    via @crusader_kings_official
  • 11

    HÅLO

    WHEN YOU SEE YOUR MATE GALAND HALOGALAN RWAY FINLAND FI
    via @warbanddun
  • 12

    Let the rebellion commence and be crushed

    You are a powerful vassal. but i don't grant you a seat in the council. 3 this is outrageous, it's unfair! how can you be a powerful vassal and not be in the council?
    via @Crusaderkings
  • 13

    Oh... OH... no...

    1858 I finally took care of my unplanned son You made him a monk, right? 1858 You made him a monk, right?
    via @Crusaderkings
  • 14

    Thanks, game, really appreciate it

    Simon de Chuillières-
    via @Crusaderkings
  • 15

    He's popeing it out

    Simon de Chuillières- Single Combat: Pope Alexander CLOTHED LIKE COWARDS Single Combat: Pope Alexander SUNS OUT GUNS OUT
    via @Crusaderkings
  • 16

    Every problem has a solution if you're creative enough

    WAITING UNTIL PRIMOGENITURE IS AVAILABLE DISINHERITING THE REST OF YOUR CHILDREN
    via Gabe Medina
  • 17

    You got to love theocratic power in CK3

    "Due to your lack of piety, I have granted the Pope a claim to your Empire." - Signed, The Pope imgflip.com U/BRIENNEOFFUCKINTARTH
    via U/BRIENNEOFF*CKINTARTH
  • 18

    But HOW?

    So you see, that's where the trouble began. That smile. That d ed smile. imgflip.com @COPEYLIUS
    via @COPEYLIUS | imgflip.com
  • 19

    Never in a million years

    STOP PLAYING AS HAESTEINN! 10 Great CK3 Starts That Aren't Jarl Haesteinn ck 來 7:29 U/TIME-IS-A-FLATCIRCLE No.
    via U/TIME-IS-A-FLATCIRCLE
  • 20

    Every map expenssion is just more counties for Haesteinn to sail to

    H What are you doing in CHINA U/THEFLEMMISCHELION Mind your own business. :1
    via U/THEFLEMMISCHELION
  • 21

    When the game is one step ahead of you

    MY DOMAIN ABOUT TO BE SPILT BETWEEN MY 6 SONS imgflip.com U/EASTEREGG42
    via imgflip.com | U/EASTEREGG42
  • 22

    Do you actually know an 18-year-old who is able to grow a CK3 beard?

    r/crusaderkings3 tahrah11 Top 1% Poster Now I know why it's called a "Wizard's Beard" My character My character at age 17 the second he turns 18
    via tahrah11
  • 23

    How DARE it take my strategy and turn it agains me?

    RAIDING THE AI WHEN THEY GO TO WAR GETTING RAIDED BY THE AI WHEN I GO TO WAR U/PLANKTON1114943
    via U/PLANKTON1114943
  • 24

    Never say a bad word about him, he'll know

    i4X Known Languages Arabic, Greek, Berber, Cushitic, Armenian, Iranian, Georgian, Oghur, D'Oil Vulgar, Italian Vulgar, South Slavic, Slavonic, Magyar, Czech-Slovien, and Sudanic Current Foreign Language Limit: 14 out of 14 Liege +81 Emir Yassir of the Abuneb Emirate, 56 ❤ This is you go Mr. Worldwide 19 22 17 10 50 7 Ash'ari Egyptian 209 3338 U/CLEEMBUS 8316 5/5 XV
    via U/CLEEMBUS_
  • 25

    The year is 793, right?

    r/CrusaderKings Necessary_Golf_91 POV: your raid army spotted a church (those priests wont know what hit em) U/NECESSARY_GOLF_91 137
    via U/NECESSARY_GOLF_91
  • 26

    Wait, CK3 isn't a dating simulator?

    You better not be using that au tic map game as a historical figure dating simulator again Arrange Marriag baudouinete IA ALEPE IV BAUDOUINETTE 30100 To the implacable Princess Morfia of Cilicia. 1 Baudouin, gladly accept your hand in marriage! May God grant us long life and many children, my implacable wifel Signed, King Baudouin of Jerusalem Excellent!
    via @baudouinette
  • 27

    WYKYK

    Me in the car after my Mom gifted me a plush exotic carpet U/TIME-IS-A-FLATCIRCLE
    via U/TIME-IS-A-FLATCIRCLE
  • 28

    Congrats, you're young Dumbledore now

    9 r/CrusaderKings Mainr07 Loaded up the game with different mods from my previous save and was greeted with the most magnificent beard I've ever seen
    via Mainr07

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hilarious geeky geeky memes gaming video game Memes gaming memes crusader kings video games funny
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